Throughout most of my life, I was a perfectionist, someone who placed a lot of value on being productive, and a woman who never prioritised herself.

It took me a long time to understand that those traits were built into my nervous system, traits that were keeping me in constant fight or flight. Always anxious, always worrying about what’s next, always needing all tasks completed before I could relax.

It made me sick: physically, mentally, and spiritually. All my energy was focused on both the future and the past, but never the present.

Because I was neglecting myself, I was running on autopilot. I wasn’t even inside my own body; stress was running the show.

Steps Toward Change

I took steps to overhaul my life: I cut out all processed foods and refined sugars, I started moving my body, meditating, journaling. My physical and mental health were showing so much relief. But still, regardless of all the positive changes, I felt the constant overwhelm and overstimulation.

Why? Because I was still holding on. I hadn’t given myself permission to process all the stagnant trauma and grief that had been living in my body for years.

And now, it was all I could see. Before, I was constantly fatigued, chronically in pain, and deeply depressed, so it wasn’t even on my radar. Now that the noise had cleared and I started to feel relief, I came home to myself. I could hear these symptoms for what they are:  communication from my body. “You’re holding on to so much, it’s time to let it go.”

Learning to Slow Down

Now, I still have my moments where stress creeps in and steals my calm, but I know how to find my way back; it doesn’t take over anymore. Finally, I allowed myself to slow down. I allowed myself time to meditate. To be still. I hear my body, I know what it needs, and I do everything in my power to give it calm.

If you feel you resonate with this “perfectionist, anxious” person I described, please read this next sentence carefully. This is not your personality; these are learned behaviours in response to stored trauma and grief. Your body is begging you to release it. You deserve to feel calm, safe, and supported.

Literal Relief

So now that we know we have unprocessed trauma, how do we release it? Through intention, breath, meditation, and fascial manoeuvres.

We need to shift our mindset when it comes to trauma and grief. When people say it lives in the body, they don’t mean symbolically. You need to start seeing it as literal stagnancy within you that needs to be shifted. By reframing our view of pain and discomfort, we allow it to move and to release. This pressure is real and can be moved. We just need to tune into our body and show it the way out.

You Can Choose

I know it’s hard to shake the feeling that you can’t relax when your to-do list is never-ending. The added pressure of parenting makes it feel even more impossible. But please know, it’s not. You can choose to change your life at any point. You can take space, you can prioritise your health, and time with family. I did, and the abundance that has flowed into every area of my life since is my reason to never go back. Where attention goes, energy flows. Place your intention and energy inward and everything else will work out exactly as it should. Nothing that is meant for you will ever pass you by. Promise.

Start talking to yourself like this:

-       I release all limiting beliefs.

-       I release the need to feel productive.

-       I release all anxiety, anger, and grief.

-       I allow my body to rest.

-       I allow my body to heal.

-       Anything that is meant for me will never pass me by.

-       I don’t need to burn myself out to be productive.

-       Abundance flows to me with ease.

-       I am calm.

-       I am safe.

-       I am supported.

-       I am free.

What Comes Next

In my next blog post, let’s talk about the place where our trauma and grief are stored: our fascia. The connective tissue that surrounds every single organ, muscle, bone, ligament, and tendon inside your body. But it’s not just “tissue.” It’s incredibly intelligent, adaptive, dynamic, and responsive.

We'll talk about how to release trauma and grief. Sometimes this release comes with some discomfort, but you owe it to yourself. 

We need this knowledge. The more we understand how our bodies work, the better equipped we are to support them and find our full potential.

As always, thank you for being here. Let’s go through this journey of self-reflection together and heal our beautiful planet in the process. 

Trust your body, trust yourself. Let's heal the world, together.

Lisa x