Welcome to a little story about my experience with pre-conception and pregnancy.

The absolute shock of realising a tiny human is growing inside of you is indescribable - at least it was for me.

Our baby was completely unplanned (consciously anyway), and one of the feelings that rushed over me - one I've rarely heard spoken about - was guilt.

Guilt for "accidentally" falling pregnant.

How could this happen so easily for me when I had beautiful friends who had been trying for years without luck? How was I going to share our news while carrying that heaviness?

It took time to process. But eventually, I realised I had to let it go - for my own wellbeing, and for the tiny life growing inside me.

And when I really sat with it, something clicked.

Although it felt like wild luck that we conceived the only time we hadn't used contraception in 12 years, I realised something important:

We had unknowingly been preparing for years.

So here's a little run-down - in the hope it encourages someone in their own pre-conception phase, or even someone just beginning to think about it.

Because you prepare the soil before you plant the seed. 🌱

1. Stopping Oral Contraception 💊

For my own overall health, I stopped taking the oral contraceptive pill after around 15 years - and I had been using it to skip my period for most of that time.

The pill works by providing synthetic hormones that suppress ovulation. After stopping, it can take several months for natural hormone rhythms and ovulation to regulate again - sometimes six months or more, especially after long-term use.

Because I had been on it for so long, I genuinely assumed falling pregnant would be difficult if we ever tried.

Looking back, allowing my body time to re-establish its own hormonal balance was likely one of the most supportive things I unknowingly did for my fertility.

Pre-conception health for women includes:

▪︎ Regular ovulation

▪︎ Nutrient sufficiency (iron, folate, iodine, B12, zinc)

▪︎ Healthy body composition

▪︎ Balanced stress levels

▪︎ Stable sleep cycles

Without consciously "trying," I was slowly creating that foundation.

2. The Spiritual (and Intentional) Conversations ✨

For most of our relationship, my husband and I were firmly in the "no kids" camp. Intentionally.

But when the conversation shifted, we didn't rush. We talked. We visualised. We got specific.

Maybe it was manifestation. Maybe it was intuition. Maybe it was just two people dreaming out loud.

Two years before conceiving, we spoke about timing. We spoke about the kind of parents we wanted to be. We even spoke about a little boy named George - blonde hair, blue eyes, cheeky smile.

So when the sonographer asked if we wanted to know the sex at our first scan, I remember thinking - pardon? As if it wasn't George.

Of course, it was him.

While our external life looked chaotic - building a business, selling everything, living out of a rooftop tent - internally we had been preparing.

And that matters.

Because pre-conception isn't just physical. It's emotional readiness, relational stability, nervous system regulation. It's creating safety.

3. Unknowingly Preparing - Together

When we first spoke about having a baby one day, we agreed on one thing: we both needed to sort ourselves out first. Mental health. Physical health. Our environment.

We knew the version of life we were living - fast, financially stretched, constantly busy - wasn't aligned with the kind of parents we wanted to be. We didn't want to be building a life that required us to be absent from it.

If we were going to bring a child into the world, we wanted presence. Stability. Space.

So we started making changes.

We left high-stress, unfulfilling jobs.

We built a business that gave us more autonomy and time together.

We reduced alcohol to rare occasions.

We lowered our caffeine intake.

We prioritised sleep.

We moved our bodies daily - walking, stretching, yoga, running.

We spent more time outdoors and less time consuming constant media and noise.

At the time, it felt like personal growth. Looking back, it was also pre-conception preparation.

Because fertility doesn't begin at the moment of conception - it reflects months (and often years) of metabolic, hormonal, and nervous system health leading up to it.

But I want to talk about the part that rarely makes it into these conversations.

It takes two.

Sperm take approximately 70–74 days to develop, plus another couple of weeks to fully mature - meaning the sperm involved in conception reflect roughly three months of a man's prior health.

Sperm quality is influenced by:

▪︎ Alcohol intake

▪︎ Smoking

▪︎ Stress hormones

▪︎ Nutrient status (zinc, selenium, omega-3s, folate)

▪︎ Sleep

▪︎ Body composition

▪︎ Environmental toxin exposure - including things like electromagnetic fields (EMFs). Yes, that means you might not want to keep your phone in your front pocket all day.

Research continues to show that sperm health impacts not just conception rates, but miscarriage risk and even long-term child health outcomes through epigenetic expression.

So when we reduced alcohol, improved diet quality, prioritised sleep, lowered chronic stress, moved our bodies consistently, and created a more regulated lifestyle - we were unknowingly improving egg health, sperm integrity, hormone balance, and lowering systemic inflammation.

Not because we were trying.

But because we were building a life that felt sustainable.

Over time, I naturally lost around 20kg and became stronger and fitter - changes that supported insulin sensitivity, hormonal balance, and overall reproductive health.

None of it was extreme. None of it was perfect.

It was just intentional.

And that intention compounds.

So after all of that - living in a rooftop tent, building a business, planning to travel, with absolutely no active plan for a baby yet - two little blue lines appeared.

We were shocked. We didn't even have space for a third seat in the car.

But when I look back now, it doesn't feel accidental.

It feels aligned.

George arrived at a time that looked messy on the outside - but foundational on the inside.

We pivoted. We made space. We adapted.

And now here we are - living dreams we once spoke about hypothetically, with our wild, beautiful three-year-old by our side.

If you're in your own pre-conception phase - actively trying, gently thinking about it, or not even sure yet - know this:

You can't always control timing.

But you can prepare the soil. 🌱

Tash. ♡